I have a confession to make.
I’m a big fat fraud.
List & Assist has been my ‘baby’ for just shy of 18 months and it’s nothing like I thought it would be.
My ‘light bulb moment’ was to develop an app to serve my fellow crazy-busy mums of South Australia with ‘how-to’ guides (for just about everything) and connect them to amazing local suppliers…but it hasn’t happened. I’m still super passionate about the idea but I completely under anticipated the amount of time it would take to develop.
Enough is enough (and hence the confession). The time has come for me to kiss it goodnight*, update all of my copy accordingly and park it on my long-term to-do list. #suchislife
Ironically, the only reason I started a blog was because I didn’t have the time to develop my app. This accidental tangent has actually paid off.
I absolutely love blogging and connecting with my readers. I love hearing that people find my blog relatable. There is already a glut of pretentious and preachy words out there on the interweb whose sole purpose is to make you feel bad about yourself in some way. I certainly don’t want to add to the toxicity.
I only wish that I had the time to write every single day…but, I don’t. In this current season of my life, I am unbelievably time poor and finding a window to put pen to paper is challenge enough. However, when a suitable gap presents itself my first instinct is to go to bed/read a book or catch up on Netflix. Ironically, it’s when I’m multi-tasking like a mofo or have been putting off a simple trip to the loo for the last 2 hours that I get all of my best ideas and writing inspiration.
Anyhoo, just between us, I’ve been quietly freaking out for some time now re every aspect of my life: (List & Assist), money, health, happiness, wellbeing, parenthood, relationships and even my sense of self.
It’s not uncommon for me to get twitchy about money around tax time, but this year it’s more than just money woes. Here’s a random sample:
- I’ve not been particularly present with my kids lately and find myself wishing the week (and life) away
- I woke up in a panic recently because I realised I haven’t put a single dollar into superannuation since January 2015
- My hands are so dry they are at the point of cracking and bleeding….which bloody hurts! You’d think I’ve been a bricklayer for 30 years it’s so bad
- I’ve gained 5kg recently through emotional eating and am feeling increasingly ‘yuck’ with each passing day
- I noticed a recurring payment on my credit card from Audible US recently (I thought I cancelled the subscription). I’m grumpy I didn’t notice it sooner
The list goes on.
So, what’s my point??
I feel like I’ve hit what can only be described as a ‘mid 30’s slump’…and it sucks….big time.
I don’t give a rats ass about my age but shouldn’t the average middle-class woman have her shit together by now?? Or at least have the absolute necessities taken care of??
I’m sick and tired of being ruled by the following feelings and emotions:
- Hopelessness et al
The thing that kills me is that I talk a good game. I’m the one people are always praising for ‘getting shit done’ and while that’s true, it’s certainly not accompanied by a side of Hygge. As mentioned above, the L&A app was supposed to help women get organised; I even made my tagline ‘Love Your Organised Life’.
Like I said, I’m a big fat fraud.
Confession: I’m calling BS on myself and I know I can do better….and I might just be able to help you too in the process.
I used to have a saying that was well known amongst my friends:
“if you don’t have a plan…..you’ve got nothing”
Truer words were never spoken, and it’s time I started taking a bit of my own advice. As you can imagine, verbalising (or in my case publishing) a confession is never easy. Thanks for reading *hugs*.
Stay tuned to hear all about my #cunningplan 🙂
Lots of love,
*Seriously how good is Samuel L Jackson in The Long Kiss Goodnight. It’s his best film role if you ask me 😊